Be Afraid Leg Hair. Be Very Afraid.

I received another manufacturer's sample in the mail today. This one came unsolicited. It was the Schick Quattro for Women, courtesy of the frequent shopper card I registered at the local Bashas' grocery store. This little goodie runs about $8.99 retail. After dutifully mining Bashas' customer database, they figured a woman was making the buying decisions. I guess my relinquishing the final vestiges of personal privacy is finally paying off. How nice.

I must have been asleep in between product introductions. At what point did we skip the three-bladed razor in favor of four? Last I remember, I was cautiously shaving in the shower with a double-bladed plastic piece of crap. How come one or two accidental slices across the shin wasn't quite enough? At what point did Schick decide it really wanted to maim women?

They must be crazy to think I'm going to fall for a ridiculous marketing trap like that. [peels back label] Hmmm. A $2.00 coupon. [thinks] Sure, I could give it a go.

[ technorati: marketing, B2C marketing, coupons, direct mail ]

Wanted - Pedophiles with Bad Knees

When pedophiles get older, it must be harder for them to kneel behind the bushes near their local high school, to sneak a peak at the luscious lovelies on parade. That's why sites like MySpace.com have popped up, mainly as online communities for the teen-to-30 set, but mostly it just feeds the frenzy of older creeps migrating to the Web. If you've never heard of it, it's a poorly designed, 14-million-member-strong portal for blogging and social networking.

<TV announcer voice>

Now you can stalk gullible teens from the comfort of your own home. Stop worrying about hurting your back or knees while crouching near the bus stop. Best of all, most parents don't have a clue what their kids are doing online. Log on now and get lonely jailbait to reveal personally identifiable information, just by pretending to be her friend.

Log on within the next 30 minutes and you can use our free teen chat generator to avoid clumsy introductions. Just cut-and-paste this editable text into any IM window.

Wild_Eros69: Wow! You're a stud/babe. I really like your abs/boobs. My friends tell me I look like Orlando Bloom/Britney Spears. You can see sexy cool pics of me wearing a hot dress/Speedo/nothing right here.

</TV announcer voice>

And if it weren't for young girls posting lewd photos on services like MySpace.com, pedophiles would have almost no real content to peruse. Well, except for this enlightening post.

moms f***ing suck!!!!
Current mood: pissed off

my mother f***ing sucks! she took my cell phone away from me!!!! so now if you have get a hold me you can't call my cell (310) 62x xxxx... you have to call the house! (310) 39x xxxx!!!!! oh by the way i'm never really home! i'm soooooo pissed. i can't use my house phone because they took that outta my room! how the f*** does she expect me to talk to my friends and have a f***ing life!??! god i never wanna talk to her again!

Well, at least this post was more coherent than most.

[stands up and applauds Mom]

Not everyone is happy with MySpace's blogging tools, as evidenced by comments of former MySpace cadets. Meanwhile, the PR folks at MySpace.com have been working overtime to inform the public about the site's finer points. In Fall 2004, R.E.M. debuted a new album on MySpace.com. This week, Nixon Nation claimed its records sales have soured soared, thanks to MySpace.com. And Weezer's first album in three years debuts on MySpace this week. (via PRWeb.com)

As much as I hate to admit it, they must be doing something right.

[ technorati: teen blogging, privacy, teen parenting, online safety ]

Steer Clear of Drive-By Advertising

The marketing side of my brain says this is a great way to reach customers, especially outside convention centers or at crowded community events. The cynical consumer side of my brain says this is an accident waiting to happen.

With distracted drivers making the news daily, it's amazing that rotating billboard trucks are still legal on city thoroughfares. It's not the size of the ad, so much as the motion, that entices you to gaze and watch the ads change. And while I don't mind rubbernecking as an intrigued passenger, it's not the same safe experience when I'm a driver.

Your ad can't be tuned out, turned down, switched off or thrown away like other conventional advertising. -- Billboards In Action Web Site

I'll grant them that. For many drivers, the ad can't be tuned out. Take it from me. I was there.

Click to enlarge these photos, shot by my passenger-side teenager while we were driving between school and home. With panels rotating every few seconds, there's no question this version of mobile outdoor advertising got my attention. But at what cost? I had to remind myself to focus on the nearby traffic instead of trying to sneak a peak at the morphing rectangles. Meanwhile, a teen driver in the adjacent lane was so distracted, he cut off another car when he changed lanes. It was damn nervewracking. I was relieved when the truck took a left turn off the beaten path.

We're such a litigious society, it's only a matter of time before someone sues the pants off a media outlet like this, or its advertising clients, after he veers off the road or has a related traffic accident.

A word to the wise. Steer clear.

[ technorati: distracted drivers, mobile advertising, outdoor advertising ]

Jesus Saves, Moses Invests

Today is National Prayer Day, so what better way to celebrate than to blog about a related bit of minced media?

This morning, I was surfing through the endless plethora of cable offerings when I came upon a curious infomercial; Reverend Peter Popoff touting the features of his miracle spring water. Not one to ignore an avenue of distribution, Popoff owns a Web site where you can order your own sample of the supernatural liquid.

Popoff isn't the first religious snake oil salesman to hawk healing water. Back in 2003, Evangelist Leroy Jenkins stopped distributing his version of magic H₂O when the Ohio Department of Agriculture revealed it contained a special ingredient -- coliform bacteria. Holy Sh*t!

Now back to Popoff's TV drivel. Parading an endless supply of satisfied customers past the cameras, Popoff's production crew highlighted folks miraculously cured of breathing problems, joint pain, and being bedridden due to obesity. Okay, forget about that last cure. The woman is still morbidly overweight, so I sincerely hope she prays for credible medical and nutritional guidance soon.

No word yet on whether miracle spring water cures gullibility stupidity.

[ technorati: miracles, scams, National Prayer Day ]

Young Man, Now Give Me That Knife

I've been dreaming about opening up an e-commerce store. Problem is, I don't feel like putting up all that money to buy stuff. What if I sucked at retail and was stuck with a bunch of crap I'd have to mark down eventually? Not that I wouldn't want to make money, but isn't there a legal way I can sell good stuff without having to buy anything? After all, the government is doing it.

Case in point: If you were stupid enough to go through airport security since 9/11 with contraband in your coat pocket, you remember forfitting that knife your late Dad once gave you. The airport dudes took it away when you absent-mindedly entered the checkpoint without reviewing your carry-ons beforehand. No, the officials didn't care a rats bum about your sob story, dumbass. You blew it and you haven't seen the knife since.

Are you totally out of luck? Maybe. Maybe not. If you're quick and you search long and hard, you might spot it on eBay.

Everybody loves an auction, especially the NTSA. The nice thing about seeing the government tap into the benefits of e-commerce? It didn't spend taxpayers' collective monies to launch its impromptu hardware store. Nice, lucrative e-retail business, eh, guys? Damn! Wish I'd thought of it first. (eBay/NTSA link via Boing Boing, via Aaron Engelhart)

The good news? Now there's more money for the war on terrorism, courtesy of airline travellers who apparently live with their heads in the sand.
By the way, it could have been worse. You could have lost some prohibited personal hygiene items on your trip, like nail clippers. In that case, if you were planning to be nice and fresh for that job interview in the morning, good luck with that.


[ technorati: airport security, auctions, government ]

Stand-Up Comedy and the First Lady

When something amazing or outrageous happens in politics, you can count on traditional media to be there first. One thing's for sure. Bloggers took a back seat to journalists on Laura Bush's comedic debut at the annual White House Correspondents Dinner on April 30.

Take a gander at all the coverage (below)...and I barely scratched the surface. The buzz could outstrip anything we've seen from the White House to date. I have to admit I admire her moxy.

Quick Quiz:
The First Lady took comedic pot-shots at her Presidential hubby in an an effort to show:
1. She's human
2. She's a smart cookie
3. There's nothing critics can say about Dubya that she doesn't already know.

Yep, pollsters. The First Lady gets the joke...or jokes. Or at least she was able to deliver the lines scripted for her by political joke writer Landon Parvin. Admittedly, the veteran presidential speech scribe coached Mrs. Bush on the finer points of stand-up delivery.

Peruse the various accounts of Mrs. Bush's presentation:

New York Times via San Francisco Chronicle

Hollywood.com

USA Today

LA Times

Fox News

Reuters via Yahoo! News

NY Daily News

Ad Age

Washington Post

International Herald Tribune

Today, there was no end to headlines that characterized Laura Bush's recent appearance as "comic timing." A former stand-up comedienne myself, I have to scratch my head in wonder. What was the White House thinking? Maybe they plan to pit Laura Bush against Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton in the next run for the White House.

[Note to Self: Nah! Don't be ridiculous.]

Kinda reminds me of (once upon a time) Prince Charles and Princess Diana. The future King's popularity was often overshadowed by his gracious and well-loved wife. Sorry, there was no happy ending for the Princess. And the Bush situation is another fairy tale entirely.

[Note to Self: Check out the coverage on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. It should be a hoot. ]

[ technorati: First Lady, Laura Bush, political comedy ]

Tool du Jour - Customized RSS News Feeds

Today, someone asked for my address so they could snail mail news releases. I replied that I prefer email or RSS feeds. I expect PR folks to offer RSS feeds to their press archives eventually. But I want them now! I'm cobbling together bookmarks for creating my own custom RSS news feeds. Now I can add them to tools like My Yahoo!, Bloglines, Newsburst or Newsgator.

Amazon.com Product-Specific RSS Feeds (via yaywastaken via blogtricks)

Suggest your own newsource (Example: mobile marketing)

NewsXS generates an immediately accessible RSS feed for any search term you use...create a personalized RSS newsfeed based on five "keyphrases." (via Robin Good)

Wired News: RSS Feeds
Add the term of your choice after the 'query=' variable and include the '&format=rss' in the query string. (Example)

Yahoo! News Search RSS URL Generator (via Jeremy Zawodny's blog)
Enter your own search terms to create custom RSS feeds of Yahoo News stories.

[ technorati: RSS feeds, content syndication ]

Virtual Cup of Coffee

My cousin Tom emailed me the following link to a silly little Flash application found on Cartoline.net, a graphics and animation firm located in Bologna, Italy. Have a free cup of coffee on the Web!

1. CLICK ON THE LINK COFFEE MACHINE
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5. CLICK ON "APRI" (This one is very important; don't forget!)

[ technorati: Flash, gags ]

Ultimate Blogger Dangles $500 Carrot

Calling all reality show fans! Today is the last day to enter The Ultimate Blogger Competition.

Hello Prospective Ultimate Bloggers! We all loved all the applications that are coming in. We have received over 200 apps so far, so it's gonna be really hard to whittle them down to the 12 who will be in the challenge. Keep 'em coming, we know there are more ultimate bloggers out there. Deadline is 8pm (PDT) on Friday, April 29th 2005."

They are "promoting the hell out of it," says one of the organizers in a podcast. And no, I can't be accused of shilling for them. I'm not even adding Technorati tags to this post.

Yes, I entered, not that I think I have a chance, but it was fun to be a smart alec while answering their questionnaire. I was waiting for my hair to dry anyway. Here are my answers, cut-and-pasted from the form before I hit SUBMIT (please forgive my sloppy typos):

E-Mail Address:
kimbayne@yahoo.com

Name (First & Last):
kim bayne

Sex:
yes. um...(lowers head, embarrassed for cliched response)...female, defintely female

Race:
used to run 10k...damn! must be in the stand-up comedienne mode. hold on. (switches seats) there, much better. i'm white. i'm soooo white.

Current Blog (if any):
Minced Media http://mincedmedia.blogspot.com

Education:
masters in computer resources management, but it doesn't matter. i don't remember anything from school.

Occupation(s):
a best-selling author on technology and marketing, professional freelance writer, conference speaker, former public radio host, former marketing communications executive, occasional crafts artisan, and cynical nitpicker who shares her thoughts with no one in particular.

3 Favorite URLs:
well, this one, of course. then there's slate.com, combover.com and jibjab.com

Places You Have Lived:
east coast, southeast, southwest, Germany, Cyberspace

Do You Have a Digital Camera (what kind)?
yeppers. 5.0 MP rez KODAK EASYSHARE DX4530 Zoom Digital Camera

A URL to a picture of yourself (or email one):
http://pic18.picturetrail.com/VOL927/2165286/4225333/60745570.jpg

Do you use PC or Mac?
PC but used to use a Mac. still have it for sentimental reasons. it's a dinosaur.

Cats or Dogs?
(cat kat chat Katze gato)
they don't slobber and they have an attitude, just like me.

How did you Hear about Ultimate Blogger?
sorry, if i told you i'd have to kill you. ummm. that was a real question, right? can't you check your referral logs.? geez. do i have to do your work for you?

Are you single? Seeing Someone? Married? Divorced? Other?
married with teenager daughter. i think he's still hot after all these years.

Have you ever been in a fist-fight?
no, not that i can remember. i once punched a guy in the jaw for grabbing my boob. okay. i guess you can call that a fist fight, but it was only one punch.

Who did you vote for in the last three presidential elections?
Kerry Clinton...wait that's a trick question to see how old i am, right? DAMN!

What music is playing in your own personal hell?
feelings (ewwww i need some Tums just thinking about that song)

Do you own a car? What kind?
i gotta red car

Do you hate anyone?
no. takes too much energy to do that. i don't want to waste my time. besides i'm a big enough ass at times that enough people take up energy in the hate continuum bitching about ME.

What do you like on your pizza?
pineapple 'shrooms

Do you believe in any G/god(s)?
depends on whether i'm feeling depressed or not. it's easier to believe in G-d when things are going your way.

Why are you going to win The Ultimate Blogger?
i'm a pathological liar

What other question should we be asking, and what is your answer?
what's your most disgusting personal habit? i pee in the shower. yeah, i know. too much information.

Yeah, I know. You could do better on the answers. Just about anyone could do better than I did on the questions, so big deal.

By the time you read this entry, it will be too late to enter, I'm guessing. But check it out anyhoo, regardless of when you read this, since the competition should be interesting to follow. They're encouraging folks to do some of the challenges on their own, even if they don't make the cut.

Silly Rabbit. Slogans Are For Kids!

Now isn't this a cool tool? Tired of racking your brain to come up with something creative? Want some hackneyed but familiar phrases to promote your next product release or event? Try Sloganizer, the slogan generator. Refresh this page a couple of times to see how it changes.



[ technorati: marketing, slogans ]

Business Blogs Beat Opt-In Email

How can marketers join the current blog (Weblog) craze by serving, rather than alienating, potential and current customers? Find out at "A Marketer's Guide to Blogging," by Kim M. Bayne, to be presented at the IABC/Tucson Luncheon on May 5, 2005. IABC/Tucson is a local chapter of the International Association of Business Communicators.

[ technorati: blogs, marketing communications ]

Sit In My Lap and See What Pops Up

I've always associated pop-up windows with porn. I'm not talking about windows that appear because the visitor actively chose to click on a link that was labeled appropriately. I'm talking about windows that pop-up without warning and repeatedly pop-up uncontrollably, like a hormonal teenage boy at the beach.

Most users choose to ignore these interruptions and go on their surfing way. But when the user becomes bombarded, (s)he is forced to close all the extra windows or, in the case of more aggressive sites, CTRL-ALT-DEL. Thank goodness Pop-Up Blockers save the day.

And yet, some marketers just don't get it. They try to outwit visitors who enable blockers. Independent software vendor AntsSoft just released Wise Popup, software that helps ethically-challenged Webmasters create unblockable pop-up windows. Oh, goody!

So I went to the site to check it out. [click on image to enlarge, note pop-up window] Funny thing about illiterate marketers. Their mispellings misppellings misspellings are more entertaining than their ridiculous product messages.

[ technorati: bad marketing, pop-up blockers, spam ]

Don't Bogart That Blackberry, My Friend

Constant interruptions throughout the day, like emails and text messages, are more detrimental to a person's IQ than marijuana, reports CNN. And to think I was dissuaded from a toke or two after hearing about the health effects of cannabis.

After reviewing a recent survey on workplace interruptions (completed by TNS Research, commissioned by Hewlett Packard) and the clinical studies of a psychiatrist (at King's College London University), I've decided to scale back the number of times I access my inbox during the day. Instead, I'll just sneak a doobie in the John.

What?

Yes, it's for my glaucoma.

[ technorati: email, health, marijuana, IQ ]

You Have The Right To Remain Nosy

I subscribe to my local newspaper's newsletter, made possible by StarNet, the online service of the Arizona Daily Star. Rarely do I have the time to sit down and read the real paper, except on weekends. The daily email is a quick way to keep up with what's happening around town. If a U.F.O. lands in Sabino Canyon, I may miss the actual event, but I'll get to read about it a day later.

Today, these news snippets caught my attention:

NewsTalk
What should be depicted on the back of the Arizona quarter to be minted in 2008? Gov. Janet Napolitano said she wants schoolchildren to be part of the selection process.

[thinks] Mention to Kaity. She might have some ideas. Deadline? Nah, enough to do.

Pet abandonment hits peak in May
Pets are abandoned year-round in Tucson when their owners move away, but in May the problem gets a little worse. That's when departing college students, snowbirds and locals going on summer vacation leave pets behind...

[thinks] Oh, my God! What's wrong with people? [walks over to cat, pets him lovingly, returns to computer] Tucson!

New for commuters: Accident reports, live traffic cams and police scanner!
Before you head out the door, listen to police and fire department radio transmissions while you check the traffic via remote cameras and a list of recent accidents.

"The live audio feed scans Tucson-area police, fire and other agencies' radio transmissions," reads the blurb on the scanner page. I click through and turn up my computer speakers, focusing in on what appeared to be the police communications. Sometimes it was hard to tell the difference between the different public safety transmissions.

[thinks] Like listening to the pilot channel on an airplane. Kinda interesting. [yawns] I guess. [yawns, interest peaks, listens] Child abuse investigation. Nine-month pregnant woman having trouble breathing. Car parked in the middle of the road with a male slumped over the wheel. (Some guy) harassing patrons in the parking lot. Morse code? Person with medical problems hasn't been heard from in a couple of days. Huh? Gun shots? 41-year-old male DOA. Morse code? Go down the alley! Go down the alley! Police chase. Cardiac arrest. Walk through schoolyard to make sure bad guy didn't dump a gun in it.

Just singling out the police broadcasts was amazing enough. I didn't grow up in a law enforcement family. I don't know anyone in law enforcement personally. But I am totally amazed at this unedited peek into their lives. Somehow, the reality is more riveting than the Hollywood versions passed off as entertainment.

If you listen to a police scanner long enough, in just about any municipality, eventually you'll begin to appreciate the daily stress, never-ending responsibilities and amazing dedication of police officers.

I kept the Web-based scanner on for a couple of hours while I answered email, researched and wrote, took phone calls, and in general, went about my daily business. Thanks to the Web, I shared in someone else's real-life danger (remotely) and now, I am in awe.

[ technorati: newspaper publishing, cool tools, police scanner, law enforcement ]

Seder It Isn't So

This week, we counted a handful of TV programs we wished would've aired later in the day, long after bedtime, if at all possible. We also noted a few commercials that should have waited as well. Counted among the indiscrete ad spots were Rx and OTC products for feminine itch, hemorrhoids, herpes, and (for cryin' out loud) erectile dysfunction.

[whispers] Did you know China doesn't allow such TV ads during dinner? Okay. I admit, we don't want to model everything they do.

When our child was younger, these pieces of prime time minced media went "over her head" without much notice. Now that she's a teen, none of this dreck can sneak by without a reaction. When the TV is on -- and when isn't it? -- my husband and I are often jarred with sounds of loud, uncontrolled laughter or rude remarks ad nauseum. Our living room becomes a raunchy nightclub, complete with its own underage stand-up comedienne...all of it thanks to the rocket scientists who schedule embarrassing material when kids are most likely to watch. And while I'm bellyaching kvetching about mainstream TV and our failure, as parents, to teach manners to our tomboy, let's not forget those short mentions of bodily functions on less-noticed shows.

As Israel prepares to celebrate Passover, even the country's gorillas have gone Kosher. In keeping with the Jewish tradition of not touching any wheat products during Passover, zoo keepers at the (Ramat Gan) Safari Park Zoo near Tel-Aviv are feeding their gorillas a weeklong menu of Matzoh (Matzoh, Matza?). Although the gorillas are accustomed to the annual change of diet, it does bring the unfortunate side effect of constipation. -- Early Today (NBC), Fri Apr 22 2005

And I wanted to know that because...? In other words -- let's add two and two together here, folks -- every Jew observing Passover is cranky because...


Oy Gevalt! So, in honor of Passover starting tomorrow at sundown, and the obvious intestinal fortitude of Jews worldwide, whad'ya say? Let's break out the Phillips Milk of Magnesia and drink a toast to the chimps of Safari Park Zoo!


BTW, the preceding bit of zoo news is much kinder than the one seen on CNN Headline News and MSNBC-TV, about the chimp in an African zoo who chain smokes, much to the delight of the fershtinkiner zoo patrons who throw lit cigarettes to him. Okay. We're done. Stop kibitzing and browse somewhere else.

[ technorati: Passover, Matzah, Jewish, Yiddish, dietary laws, animal rights, zoos ]

The Low Brow Effect

Lately, I just can't get enough of rich blond bimbos who flaunt their lack of breeding. Maybe it's because it's more lighthearted to hear than the sordid details of an over-exposed (yes, it's a bad pun) 40-something pedophile. Or maybe it's that inescapable need to experience schadenfreude once again. You see, when I'm feeling raggedy and unappealing, I want to know there's someone out there less fortunate than me. And who isn't less fortunate than the well-known exhibitionists starring in "The Simple Life: Interns" (Fox).

What brought this on, you ask? Paris Hilton just announced that she and Nicole Richie are no longer pals, buds, chums or even peeps. Not that I care a rat's bum about pampered tramps and their pissy catfights. Hilton's future casting plans for the not-so-reality show (um...is Hilton a producer?) include ousting Richie in favor of another equally shallow tart named Kimberly Stewart, daughter of singer Rod Stewart. Can you say co-star trend?

Okay. I'll retract some of that last statement. In March, when Nicole Richie appeared on "The View" (ABC), she handled herself quite well. She was dressed professionally, poised and articulate. She even appeared humble after taking to the piano to play one of Dad Lionel Richie's songs. She didn't say one bad word, that I remember. So she's not always an ill-mannered twit -- she justs plays one on TV.

Wait! I feel a song coming on.

VELMA:
Whatever happened to fair dealing?
And pure ethics
And nice manners?
Why is it everyone now
Is a pain in the ass?
Whatever happened to class?

MATRON:
Class.
Whatever happened to, "Please, may I?"
And, "Yes, thank you"?
And, "How charming"?
Now every son of a b**ch
Is a snake in the grass?
Whatever happened to class?
-- "Class," Chicago the Musical, sung by Catherine Zeta-Jones and Queen Latifah in the movie

Whoops! I'm getting off track. Back to Kimberly Stewart, who might replace Richie on the show (Fox denies the news, for now). Since I didn't know the new PYT (Pretty Young Thing) by reputation, I searched for Kimberly Stewart on Yahoo! Images. No, I wasn't interested in facts. I wanted to put a face with a name.

I have to admit I'm a big fad prude. I wasn't impressed when I saw a scantily-clad Stewart posing on the catwalk with both middle fingers extended and a cigarette dangling from her lips. My teenager -- who gleefully pleaded with me to show her the photo -- refers to this common hand gesture as "the cactus," presumably because of a poorly painted picture I once created in a watercolor class. Meanwhile, I can't help but think this rebellious display is the least of Stewart's flaws. By the time she gets into her 40s 30s, the disadvantages of smoking will far outweigh the mindless fashion statement, especially when her face resembles a dried-up apple. Oh, joy!

Apparently, I'm a big fat two-faced prude with no self-control, too. I had to look at the photo -- a couple of times at least -- like I was rubber-necking at a car wreck during rush hour. I'm a bit amazed at my lack of self-control. It's not like Americans are brainwashed into accepting garbage as entertainment, is it? Nah, can't be.

Last year, I became more self-conscious in my efforts to avoid tacky programming and related news briefs. The reason? At the very least, I was trying to model appropriate behavior for my daughter. (I've since found out I'm too late.)

I'm getting really good at channel-fleeing whenever I "accidentally" surf to shows like NBC's "Fear Factor" (known as "Gag Factor" in our house), ABC's "The Bachelor" (a sorry commentary on the state of dating in the 21st Century), and UPN's seemingly-rigged beauty competition "America's Next Top Model." For reality TV, I prefer inspirational stories like "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" (ABC), which demonstrates there's still good in the world, even when it results in huge endorsement deals for the host (a hottie by some standards) Ty Pennington.

Finally, I do recognize there's a real market for Peeping Tom entertainment, which is why these awful shows and news reports still dog us, season after season after draining season. The public can't get enough of obscene behavior, beautiful young people with bad attitudes, and the hosts and producers who manipulate them. Oh, the humanity! I guess that's why semi-scripted reality TV is here to stay. Or at least some trumped-up version of it.

[ technorati: reality TV, entertainment, bimbos ]

Did You Remember To Wipe? Asks Google

Citing its target audience as users with "very good computer hygiene," (gee, nice analogy) Mountain View-based Google just announced its new feature for users who can't get enough of companies prying into their personal habits. My Search History, which just launched yesterday -- yes, yesterday -- allows users to review their surfing, just in case they have a brain fart and can't keep track on their own.

Okay. Okay. I admit this is a great tool for business travelers who don't have access to their browser history. And if people are careful about separating personal surfing from business surfing, they don't have much to worry about, right? (pause) Strike that non sequitur. Who does that anyway? Whatever.

None of this matters to me anyway. I use an application that deletes my cookies, files, cache and history. If it's worth remembering, I bookmark it. And I carry a copy of my bookmarks on my USB external drive for easy access on the go.

Freedom of Curiosity and The American Way
But unlike me, if you lack the anal retentive gene, just take a whiff of the negative possibilities. Library records are subpoenaed and browser histories are scrutinized more frequently these days, by employers and law enforcement agencies alike. You're not doing anything illegal or immoral, you say? According to whom? It's only a matter of time before the Thought Police tap into this new Google search puppy, exploiting it's potential and misinterpreting stored data. In this Age of Neo-McCarthyism, I just can't see how the benefits of sharing my surfing history with a business entity outweighs the benefits of keeping it to myself. Sure, it's another cool tool to explore, but I'm not seduced just yet.

Aside from the obvious e-presence benefits for Google, why are they offering this free service? Apparently there's "some value in providing people with visibility into their past activity," so says Marissa Mayer, the company's director of consumer Web products. Gee. Only some value? And how much time did Google spend to develop this? Privacy experts are not amused. Neither are sophisticated users, who are sick of intrusive cookies and spyware. [scoffs] Please get a clue.

[ technorati: privacy concerns, google, search tools, surfing history ]

Fan Mail From Some Flounder - Blog Flames

This just in! Some people give you feedback if you blog.

Today I received email from someone who believes my blogging style needs major improvement. [sigh] I know. I know. Like the majority of bloggers, no one looks over my shoulder and prompts me to revise my prose. It just comes out on the page the way I think and feel at the moment. Currently, I'm not taking any psychotropic drugs to level out the moods, either. And I guess I should be thankful someone is reading this stuff.

From: [hidden] [symbol] aol [symbol] com
Date: Mon, 18 Apr 2005 6:48:22 EDT
Subject: Minced Media Blog
To: kimbayne [symbol] yahoo [symbol] com

Your blog sidebar claims you are a best-selling author. I can't imagine what you could have written that gave you this honor. Perhaps it was a mass market paperback about some vacuous pop star. Why do you write like an illiterate teenager?

Because I can.

Addendum: I guarantee my blogging isn't nearly as annoying as Tom Green's.

[ technorati: blogging styles, flame wars ]

Tools for the Lazy Blogger

I often play around with other blog hosting services and tools, just to get a feel for them.

Now isn't the following idea just lame? At Flooble, you can use an Instant Blog Post Generator to create a post so you don't have to think of what to write. And the point of having a blog is...? How lazy can you be? Here's the post it generated for me.

I think I despise my brother Junior. On weekends he is quite demented, and today he just fascinated me... I asked for his support talking to someone about art in today's cut-throat corporate world, but he was like:

"Damn! Don't tell me you're into today's cut-throat corporate world too!"

At first I interrupted "GET OUT!" but just now I just stopped yelling. After all, he *is* my brother and he wants what is best for me...

Link of the day: WMD Counter Randomly generated by Flooble Instant Blog Post Generator

This tool is really a joke, right? The folks at Flooble share an ironic edge to their funny bone. (At least, I give them the benefit of the doubt.) If one point of writing a blog is to share one's personality, perhaps a blogger who routinely uses a post generator needs all the help he can get.

[ technorati: blogging, cool tools ]

The Shoe's on the Other Foot

If you want to improve the quality of your blogging, try linking to published articles and other traditional content. When you support your blog points with information found in e-libraries like HighBeam Research, you can link to facts and detailed information your blog readers might not find on other blogs, so they tell me. Imagine that. Traditional media still has a purpose.

We all know about blogging etiquette and how we provide resource credit to other blogs via links. It's one big community out there. I have my favorite bloggers, just like you. And it's great to share opinions across the blogosphere...to a point. But sometimes opinions on a topic can be formed entirely on the basis of the rumor mill, as in "he said, she said, then he said." In that case, something's missing.

Sometimes I just blog off the top of my head with no supporting documentation. But sometimes I like to be more thoughtful, show all sides of an issue and raise the blog writing bar. In that case, I often include links to traditional media in my entries. See? Traditional media isn't dead. It's just reinventing itself.

[ technorati: media, published articles, research, blogs ]