Friday, April 22, 2005

Seder It Isn't So

This week, we counted a handful of TV programs we wished would've aired later in the day, long after bedtime, if at all possible. We also noted a few commercials that should have waited as well. Counted among the indiscrete ad spots were Rx and OTC products for feminine itch, hemorrhoids, herpes, and (for cryin' out loud) erectile dysfunction.

[whispers] Did you know China doesn't allow such TV ads during dinner? Okay. I admit, we don't want to model everything they do.

When our child was younger, these pieces of prime time minced media went "over her head" without much notice. Now that she's a teen, none of this dreck can sneak by without a reaction. When the TV is on -- and when isn't it? -- my husband and I are often jarred with sounds of loud, uncontrolled laughter or rude remarks ad nauseum. Our living room becomes a raunchy nightclub, complete with its own underage stand-up comedienne...all of it thanks to the rocket scientists who schedule embarrassing material when kids are most likely to watch. And while I'm bellyaching kvetching about mainstream TV and our failure, as parents, to teach manners to our tomboy, let's not forget those short mentions of bodily functions on less-noticed shows.

As Israel prepares to celebrate Passover, even the country's gorillas have gone Kosher. In keeping with the Jewish tradition of not touching any wheat products during Passover, zoo keepers at the (Ramat Gan) Safari Park Zoo near Tel-Aviv are feeding their gorillas a weeklong menu of Matzoh (Matzoh, Matza?). Although the gorillas are accustomed to the annual change of diet, it does bring the unfortunate side effect of constipation. -- Early Today (NBC), Fri Apr 22 2005
And I wanted to know that because...? In other words -- let's add two and two together here, folks -- every Jew observing Passover is cranky because...

Oy Gevalt! So, in honor of Passover starting tomorrow at sundown, and the obvious intestinal fortitude of Jews worldwide, whad'ya say? Let's break out the Phillips Milk of Magnesia and drink a toast to the chimps of Safari Park Zoo!

BTW, the preceding bit of zoo news is much kinder than the one seen on CNN Headline News and MSNBC-TV, about the chimp in an African zoo who chain smokes, much to the delight of the fershtinkiner zoo patrons who throw lit cigarettes to him. Okay. We're done. Stop kibitzing and browse somewhere else.

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